Letter One

February 17th, 2006

Dear Mom, 

I didn’t know any better way to tell you this, I know you’ve been telling me I need to make some changes in my life, that the situation I am in needs to change. It’s been hard to see this situation for what it really is because I’ve felt so stuck. When I moved out here to Grand View I had the best of intentions. I was going to start college, make new friends and start a new life for myself. I know you kept telling me to think about what I was doing and I didn’t until now. But I finally listened to you, I really did.

Running track for my college team has been such a blessing, I started to get a taste of who I use to be, before I moved out here and into this rocky relationship. I have met some great friends who really like me and appreciate how silly and fun I am; I talked to one girl who needed a roommate and I was ready to move in with her. Mom, I was so excited to move out, move away start my life over again.

But this morning everything changed. I found out I’m pregnant. It came as such a surprise to me. I was finally ready to leave and make a change for the better. This isn’t how it was suppose to happen Mom? No, I didn’t want my life to be this way. All my life I dreamed of being married and ready for children. I’m not ready. Not right now, I’m barley 22, what do I know about being a mom and raising a baby? And me and my boy friend? I know that me and him don’t make that great of a couple, let alone being parents together. I was finally ready to start over and make things right in my life. Right now we are living at a friends house; how are we even going to raise a baby? And Track? I’m going to have to stop running track. I’m so devastated to leave the first team I’ve been apart of since High School.

Speaking of High School, what will all of my coaches and teachers think? I don’t know how I’m going to do this. This wasn’t going to happen to me, I was going to be the one who finished college, had a career of my own and then started a family. What about all my dreams of becoming a coach?

There are so many things I don’t know about. The only thing I know is that I want this baby, I want to be a mom. I’ll do whatever it takes to figure out how to do this, to make this situation the best I can. I promise that I will be the best mom I can to this little baby God blessed me with. I’m sorry mom if I’ve disappointed you and Dad. I love you mom. Call me when you get this letter.

Love,

Tina