So our society has come so far in including kids with handicaps, specials needs, autism; we will mainstream them at school and even let them sit next to us at lunch. We have been taught to not stare at them, don’t ask questions and it’s perfectly acceptable to not engage with them. This concept to me is so devastating; We as a society are ignoring these amazing people. And the biggest reason why is because we haven’t been taught how to engage with them. The basic premise we operate under is just don’t make eye contact and that means you’re polite. I wholeheartedly disagree And I want to challenge that thought. I say engage with them, talk to them, ask them questions!! As far as I’m concerned you won’t offend someone in a wheelchair if you ask them why they are in a wheelchair. It’s not news to them; it’s not unkind and unsensitive it’s not rude; it’s the complete opposite of that, it’s showing them you care about them as a person that they matter, that they are seen! My daughter has a lot going on; she is in a wheelchair, she has serve scoliosis that deforms her back, she has a trach in her throat to help her breath and because of her low muscle tone she drools, so when people look at her they assume she is not “there” cognitively. They don’t take the time to look past her handicaps to discover an amazing, sharp, Whitty and funny little girl. And so what, so what if she “wasn’t there” mentally and you did try to engage with her? Would she be offended? Would I as a parent be offend? Heck no because I would appreciate that you saw her as a person and that she matters. And side note; how do any of us know how much a person is or isn’t there mentally and why is it up to us to decide?? Even Doctors and Scientist don’t actually know what is going on inside the brain of someone who “isn’t there” mentally. So engage with them, talk to them, maybe they’re stuck inside their own mental limitations and they can’t engage back, but we can engage with them and we need to. I know it’s uncomfortable, I know it’s hard to get outside of yourself and engage with someone who is different. But the fact of the matter is their life and the trials they have walked through are real and they deserve the honor of us respecting them and acknowledging that they are people, that they matter and they are seen.
You want to know how to treat someone with special needs? Look at how their siblings treat them. They love them, they care about them, they see them. I don’t have all the answers but it starts with one; each one of us. Next time you see someone who has different needs, special needs, a handicap whatever you want to call it I dare you to engage with them. See them, acknowledge them, they matter. Do it in front of your children so that they can see what it looks like, make it normal for them. Do the hard uncomfortable work so that the next generation thinks nothing of it, so that they think it’s just normal. Like I said I know it’s hard, but step out and do something hard in order to honor someone who might have it a lot harder than you. Don’t miss out on an opportunity to engage with a truly amazing person!
